


have the lines in your head first

by rockholmes



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, i'm not even sure how to tag this, lots of extreme language because Scourge is even edgy in his own head
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-27
Updated: 2015-11-27
Packaged: 2018-05-03 16:44:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5298746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockholmes/pseuds/rockholmes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That being said, Scourge still kind of wishes he could talk to someone about his issues. Y'know, someone who isn't directly responsible for said issues. And someone who isn't going to see him as weak for it. So, pretty much anyone and everyone is out of the question.</p>
            </blockquote>





	have the lines in your head first

**Author's Note:**

> here's a super short one I wrote in one sitting because I wanted to write something for Scourge but I didn't want to write 5000 words.
> 
> I always found it super weird how, in the comic, they started to hint at Scourge having actual lingering paranoia and jitteriness after the whole prison thing, which would make sense, but then totally ignored it? man. that would've been interesting.

Prison kinda tends to change a person.

Even if that person is Scourge the Hedgehog, most badass hedgehog in the world and strongest gang leader of all time.

There's a lot he's been through in his life. Lots of shit he's experienced would seriously change a normal person for the worse, might even emotionally break them or something. But Scourge isn't a normal person. He refuses to be broken. He just _can't_ be broken. So many have tried to break him, to wear him down until he can't stand it anymore and every single time, they've failed.

Or. Y'know. That _was_ true.

Before he was forced into Zone Jail, that is.

He'll never admit it in front of anyone, isn't even really comfortable admitting it in his head, but yeah. He's broken. They totally succeeded. He fuckin' hates it and he's doing everything in his power to mentally put himself back together again, but that kind of shit's not easy to do by yourself, okay? And it's not like he has anyone else. He's afraid (yeah, _afraid,_ he's not used to it or happy about it) that Fiona will call him weak and/or leave him if he opens up to her about it.

Like, he's not about to suddenly become some sappy douchebag. As if he'd make himself as cheesy as Sonic.

The whole point of his existence is to make himself his own person, after all. That'd be destroyed if he started acting like the blue bastard.

That being said, Scourge still kind of wishes he could talk to someone about his issues. Y'know, someone who isn't directly responsible for said issues. And someone who isn't going to see him as weak for it. So, pretty much anyone and everyone is out of the question.

But that's always been a passing thought, because he could ignore it easily, because his problems weren't really that huge. Not huge enough to talk about, anyway.

So what if his daddy didn't hug him enough as a kid?

_(didn't listen to him, either, always ignored him, made empty promises, and wasn't even really there at all)_

And so what if he killed his own father when home life got too rough and he wanted to change shit around on Anti Mobius?

_(so much blood, the knife was barely visible, he thought it wouldn't affect him because the asshole treated him like shit, thought it'd feel good, but damn, it didn't, it really didn't feel good at all)_

And so what if he pretty much was created as an extension of another, as just an Anti - hedgehog of some sort and not actually his own damn person?

_(never once has he been his own person, always been just a version of Sonic, that Master Emerald incident was the best thing to happen to him because at least now he's distinguishable from that fucker)_

So what if the only people he'd ever actually felt some emotional attachment to replaced him?

So what if his ex-girlfriend betrayed him on multiple accounts?

So what if...?

Ah...yeah.

So, maybe his problems are a little bigger than he really gives them credit for. But none of them really left lasting scars, or if they did, they weren't sudden enough to be noticeable. None of them made him jump at every movement in the corner of his eye. None of them changed his walk, made him slouch a bit more than a normal person should. None of them made him constantly tense, as if he's about to be punched in the face or something. None of them made his neck sensitive, or the bags under his eyes slightly bigger, or the edges of his quills almost permanently dull and blunt.

Zone Jail did all that and more.

Now, in the deepest part of his mind, he kind of regrets not going to Zouge's therapy sessions more often. Maybe, just maybe, she might have been able to help him get over his jumpiness and his inability to sleep right. But that would've required him actually going along with the jail's rehabilitation program, and Scourge has never once been the type to please authority figures. Still, though. He could've used her to get better.

Of course, he threw all that away the one time he did attend, since he started a damn riot and ruined her therapy with the other inmates entirely.

He ended up getting Lightning on his side, though. One useful person in exchange for another.

But if he were to really talk about his problems, he's not sure where he would start. The main one, the huge reason he's all paranoid and jumpy and worried about anyone or anything touching his neck is 'cause of that Control Collar he was forced to wear. That thing made his life a living hell. No super powers, no speed. Everything that made him a copy of Sonic had been taken away, but they also took everything that made him an individual.

They made him a nobody.

If that wasn't the biggest slap in the face, he's not sure what could be.

Though, really, if he had to be specific, he'd say it was the other inmates who made him kinda instinctively scared of people. Especially those with muscles. Sure, he knows he can take people in a fight when he's got his powers, but some of those guys had the time to build up physical strength. Scourge can't compete with physical strength alone and he had to learn not to try to do so. They made him all (ugh) submissive, in a way.

Didn't help that his cell mate was a fuckin' wrecking ball.

Ah, shit. Smalls really did a number on him. Mentally, at least.

But now he's out. Out of the prison. Out of the hell he, on many occasions, thought he'd never be able to escape from. So, he should be happy. He should be focusing on his plans. He should be totally over it. And don't get him wrong, he kind of is, a tiny bit. Scourge is a strong motherfucker. He wouldn't let a stupid set of unpleasant experiences get him into acting like some traumatized little child.

He hasn't needed to talk about his issues before and he definitely doesn't need to now.

It'd still kind of be cool if he wouldn't flinch every single time Fiona puts an arm around him, though. Or tries to kiss him. Or touches him at all.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" she'd ask.

And he'd reply, "Nothin'."


End file.
